On the issue of marriage the true authority is of course Peter Cook in The Princess Bride.
The latest wacko statements by the Catholic Church on gay lifestyles are astonishing.
I put in a submission to the Scottish Government's consultation on same sex marriage, bluntly stating that marriage is symbolic and a great way for people to show they love each other. Quite why anyone should be denied the opportunity because of their sexual preferences is bizarre, celebrants shouldn't be forced to conduct services and bringing in equality doesn't erode the rights of mixed sex couples.
Wife-features and I got hitched in a civil ceremony at Inverness Town House to the tune of The Beatles' Two of Us ("Two of us riding nowhere / Spending someone's / Hard earned pay / You and me Sunday driving / Not arriving / On our way back home") and were advised on pain of death not to mutter anything remotely religious during the event. As if we would, good lord.
Quickly flicking through the full list of consultation responses now published I recognise some Highland church groups whose views are shockingly backward - the same groups who claim to be integral to their communities. If I lived anywhere near these churches I'd not only be offended I'd be embarrassed.
For example, the Culduthel Christian Centre (I once gave a talk there for business students about marketing and working with the media) say on their website: "We're a friendly and outward-looking group."
In their submission they say they don't even agree with civil partnerships never mind equal marriage, as do Smithton-Culloden Free Church.
St Columba Kirk, Inverness say homosexuality is abnormal and we shouldn't worry about any unfairness because it'll only affect a small number of people.
Westhill Free Church, Inverness says same-sex relationships are a "perversion" and "abomination".
One of the objections put forward by these sorts of groups is that somehow the definition of the word marriage would be changed for the worse.
It is interesting to note one definition of the word Christian in my Chambers dictionary is someone who shows "kindness, tolerance and generosity". Now there's a definition that will definitely need to be changed thanks to a small number of people.