It is 9pm-ish. The telephone rings at Green Dad HQ.
Caller: Hello Sir, is everything all right? This is police headquarters and we’ve had a number of 999 calls from this number.
Me: Er, what?
Caller: 999 calls. We’re just checking everything’s OK.
Me: Ah. We have a toddler. And a phone in the spare room next to hers. Sorry about that.
Caller: I see, sir. This isn’t the first time, is it? Could I just take your details…