As Green Dad I do my best to recycle and boy does the food packaging mount up when you have little people!
Previously when it was just Wife Features and me our recycling consisted of bags and bags of glass from weekends going blind on cocktails thinking we’re Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall. And a hallway overflowing with all - and I mean all - the Sunday newspapers.
But these days it’s the cardboard recycling bin at the back door that fills up the quickest, followed by the plastic milk container bag.
It’s all very well recycling but the best way to be green is reduce the need for packaging in the first place. I love the refills you get of washing up liquid and laundry liquid. If only there was a similar scheme for milk. Imagine putting an empty glass bottle on your doorstep at night and finding a fresh pint in the morning. What a dreamer I am!
And it’s not just packaging that makes green types see red but BOGOFs too. I remember trying to buy a single satsuma in M&S way back in the days when we had warm weather (yes, I am so old I remember life before the current Ice Age) only to find they were only available in those bags made from Rab C Nesbitt vests. And to make matters worse they were Buy One Get One Free. I took one bag to the checkout only to be told I should have picked up another one. I explained there was no way I’d be able to eat 24 satsumas before their expiry date, no matter how juicy, seedless and easy to peel they were.
And what’s more I was on a bike and my bag was already full. But the cashier wouldn’t take no for an answer and I was duly badgered into assisting the depletion of the M&S Satsuma Mountain. I then had to cycle back to work with a string bag of citrus fruits dangling from each end of the handlebar, like some tropical version of a stereotypical French onion seller.
To this day co-workers wonder where that Satsuma on their desk appeared from. By posting this blog entry my secret identity is revealed. I am Satsuma-man. ‘Satsuma-man, Satsuma-man - does whatever a Satsuma can…”