Squirreled away in John Swinney’s Scottish Budget recently was a proposal to increase business rates for big retailers and out of town retail parks. The idea is this will assist small businesses and town centres.
I see a lot of merit in it but as Mike Smith of the Inverness Business Improvement District points out, the Terry Leahy’s of the world will be lobbying hard against it. He suggests ‘flash mobbing’ the town centre traders into action. Oh my.
It has given me some flash mob ideas for Sneck. Feel free to pinch these. Just let me know when we’re doing them and I’ll be there…
1. Suddenly all the customers in Leakey’s start asking him to charge realistic prices for secondhand books.
2. Everyone turns up with a harmonica, guitar and drum to create the Bang On Boogie Orchestra at the bottom of Market Brae steps.
3. Loads of us wear seagull costumes and hang around Falcon Square waiting to be fed by idiots and tourists.
4. Crowds with bad taste queue outside Next at 7am on Boxing Day. Oh. Hang on. I’m told that one’s already taken.